Religous Woes
by Peter Jägare
Lately, your friend Boris, who is also the president of your local puzzler's club, has been plagued by brooding thoughts. Having recently turned forty, ideas of his approaching death has made him ponder such topics as What Happens When You Die and The Meaning Of Life and How Many Gods Are There, If Any and other uplifting things.
Since he didn't turn up at the club's latest meeting, you've gotten worried and have decided to go to his flat to keep him from doing anything drastic, like increasing the number of saffron-robed chanters on the streetcorners by one.
After ringing the doorbell of Boris's apartment a few times without answer, you notice that the door is unlocked, so you let yourself in. The place is empty, but you find a worrying note on the kitchen table…
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At last, I have found my path.
Afjkbya lf, lz rpl, zo hotkplxpz zob rvzvih dtqgkfa ht sic Rqgtfw ng sic vimnb togxbuoi. Siyv ht Qfynfwu. Siyv ht Zukck. SIMW ZSR SIYV.
Fez caz meq faro oq y rmymom ic besilveru, ziq quqcik y rmymom ic nesol ylz ic kero ylz ic ryhz-capwohcaco.
Ffo Ili fluaa mz zadeju, nsd xcxrzz mzddquz gynxil.
Mzg ffso uq yw ofxwxl fz qqzjkl tgc wcow qwo
Njooalw zpo ffloz ifl yzeni, rzb ffou efxht nc ozwbjymju.
Qyhuziid eq sfu imyine ic sfu nyakfe.
Simub vim vjqj sp biypdh sic vppna Zdaqogerb vjrj sicko cfqkoh Bblplw rvaebhz
Vfuj yjh cypulek sfop bjyjz se sfu gyomn ypu rinmigtygop, sfuj y lenped zyxygek ekjylmyb
Vimgshn rbtga z gvkck kjdg rimwig af qfecogah zt simwdk gf gbb rbtga zmj lblmfqz.
Y zpafig lanmuk myrol qybgitlj ydouh; duhgig djarikk myrol fe zuxf se sfu ijz zpojvzaj.
Yw Xzbm, uyznzhlj yw wylstlwlv.
Zmj qfjkdlkrn afekk vjrj z qftqiw zhykkvp lppcilpc, zob ofpkpk vicp lppcilpc bplsrhnw sico.
Turn right and left, back and forth, more and more.
Half and half, down and to the right, faster and faster, wrap it about.
Clockwise spiral, starting up, and follow the right hand guide.
Each kind with their own, then proceed forth at the appropriate pace.
28 67 19 19 3 7
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Of course, there's a reason Boris is the president of the puzzler's club. Leaving a normal, to the point, honest-to-God informative message would have been quite unlike him. So, having no prior engagements for the day, you sit down to figure out what insights your friend may have reached.
