MAS Minihunt Metapuzzle
by Mike Sylvia
This is the final puzzle of the MAS Minihunt. If you haven't followed the rest of the minihunt, be aware that the solutions to the previous 8 puzzles are given below.
As you chat with the final Mage, you feel an overwhelming sense of relief.
It's finally over; you can finally go home.
So... why are you still here?
"Dr. Lecter smiles wickedly. "Oh, we're not through with you just yet. There's one more little game for us to play." He begins chuckling in a manner only slightly more unnerving than the sound of nails on a chalkboard.
Orbiting interrupts at this point. "Oh, don't be so dramatic. It's just one more puzzle. Sheesh.
"Homestar chimes in. "Yeah, all you gotta do is figure out what we've got in common.
"Pheidippides adds, "Gasp... It's... gasp... easy. Really."
You sigh. "All right, all right. I'll solve one more stupid puzzle if it'll get me home. But could you at least give me a hint?"
The Mages glance at each other for a few seconds. Finally, Churchill breaks the silence. "Yes, I suppose we can do that."
Marilyn Monroe arches an eyebrow. "Are you sure you want to do that, Winstie? I mean, it'll mean having to reveal the ninth Mage."
Ninth Mage? Oh, joy and rapture.
Billy Elliot pipes up from the back of the bunch. "I say we do it. Anyone here opposed?"
Silence.
Chuck Woolery steps forward and clears his throat. "Then it's settled. Everyone remember your mystical Numbers of Hinting?"
"Gasp... yes."
"Yes."
"Mmm-hmm."
"Yup."
"Yes indeed. Heh heh heh..."
"I most certainly do."
"No."
Everyone glares at Homestar.
"Um, I mean yes."
Chuck Woolery turns to face you. "We'll all give you our numbers. Use them correctly, and you'll get the identity of the ninth Mage. That should be enough of a hint for you." He turns back to the Mages. "Let the game begin!"
Pheidippides: My... gasp... number is... gasp... deka epta.
Billy Elliot: To get my number, find the difference in years between the year in which the events of my movie took place and the time in which it was released, and then subtract my age.
Homestar Runner: Um, okay. You know that time when I twied to do that welcome speech thing, and I kept messing it up? And at one point, I said, "I am Homestah, and this is a website?" Well, um, my number is the same as the take when that happened.
Marilyn Monroe: My number is the percentage of my estate my psychoanalyst received upon my death.
Orbiting: My number is the date in August on which my birthday falls.
Chuck Woolery: My number is equal to the number of years it's been since I stepped down as the host of "Wheel of Fortune."
Hannibal Lecter: My number is the age at which I witnessed the death of my parents.
Churchill: None of the Mages has a lower number than I do, but one does have a number equal to mine.