What amused you today?

[Samadhi]

Irony, faux-pas, whatever....


For me, it was seeing a Cat Stevens complilation record for sale on Fox News.
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And he lived happily ever after. Except for the dieing at the end and the heartbreak in between.

[Kd]

For the 2 years I was at college, there wasn't a single pedestrian crossing on the road out front. I kept bugging people about it, because that particular road needed one, especially when it was dark and traffic came whooshing past a lot. Also, the bus stop I needed to be at was on the opposite side, so the start of every journey home was... an experience, to say the least.

Today I went back into college for the second time since I left 5 months ago... and there's a brand new zebra crossing. It has flashy orange lights and everything. Grrrr... but I did laugh.
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Guess who's back, back again, Kd's back, tell a friend.

[MatthewV]

People should learn how to cross streets without disturbing traffic. Look to your left, start walking, jump back if you see a car. Look to your right, continue walking, wait if you see a car.

And if you are driving and see people potentially in your way, blow the horn in time for the to run!

[Jack_Ian]

I have a deal with my 5 year old son.
I will only slap him, when it is to punish him for intentionally hitting someone else.
I hardly ever resort to this, but today he kicked my 3 year old daughter hard, for no other reason than he was angry and she was close.
I flipped and dragged him to his room reminding him of our deal.
By the time I reached his room I had calmed down but, nevertheless, cooly administered the punishment.
Afterwards we talked for a while.
I told him that I never wanted to resort to that again, but that it was the only effective way I had found to stop him from hurting people.
He said he understood and that he didn't like to be slapped and would try harder.
I told him that I understood that he did not like to be slapped and promised him that I would only punish him in this way if he intentionally hurt someone else.
"OK!", he said and we shook hands on the deal.
He then promptly kicked me hard on the shin.
"You said someone else", he said.
"You know what I meant", I shouted, not knowing whether to be angry or proud, feigning anger and all the time trying to hold in the laughter.

[Jedo the Jedi]

You are raising a GLer, by all rights.

[Pablo]

That kid's gonna grow up to be Antrax.

[!Chucklez!]

cryingwhileeating.com

I just...couldn't stop laughing....

[wordcross]

a bumper sticker that i say today that said "America Bless God"

I wasn't so much amused at the sentiment as at the poor poor dumbass who thought the sticker made some sort of statement.
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Has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

[Guest]

Did He sneeze?

[Samadhi]

Today in speech class a student's speech was how hate crime legislation is a good thing. I objected as did the black guy sitting next to me. The teacher rebutted him saying "Lamar, let me put it this way. You're a person of color.."
Lamar looked at his arms really quickly and said in a shocked voice "What!!!???!!!"
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And he lived happily ever after. Except for the dieing at the end and the heartbreak in between.

[Kd]

One of my male friends shaved his head for Children In Need. I jokingly gave him a blue wig I bought on my last trip to the seaside. He's been wearing it in public all day, prancing round town showing off his 'new hair', and apparently lots of older people have been giving him funny looks.
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Guess who's back, back again, Kd's back, tell a friend.

[Coyote]

I had to cross the highway today and when the 'WALK' light came on I noticed a couple of cars needed to make right-hand turns. Out of consideration, I always try to hobble across as fast as I can in those situations, but I've got a bum hip so it's still none too fast.

When I was halfway across (this was a five-lane road) I hear a honk and notice the first person in the queue (some horrible woman in an SUV) is looking at me and pointing angrily downward.

(To get a good mental image of this, extend your right arm straight out in front of you and bend your hand and index finger downward at right angles to your arm. Now move your whole arm up and down rapidly three or four times.)

It wasn't until I'd crossed and gone on a few paces that it suddenly dawned on me what she'd been doing. She'd been pointing to her flashing 'turn' signal. Because, you know, I obviously hadn't seen it, since I hadn't magically vanished from the intersection!

It really annoyed me at first but the more I thought about it the funnier it got. What did she expect from me? To break into a sprint or perhaps freeze in the center lane of a busy intersection so she could shave 3 seconds off her right turn? Clearly I refused either of those options simply so I could ruin her whole day!!

And y'know, I kinda hope I did.

[Lady in SUV]

An old bum was crossing the street in front of me. I tried to point out the dog crap that was still fresh in the middle of the road, but he paid no attention. I bet he thought I was in some sort of furious rush!

[Coyote]

As a long-time pedestrian I've become pretty good at spotting 'hazards' in the path in front of me, and I can assure you there was no dog crap in the middle of the road. The only thing in the middle of the road at the time was mysel--

Oh. Oh my, I get it now.

[Dog Crap]

I've never been so insulted in my entire life.

[GH]

A resolution from the Idaho House of Representatives. Seriously.

[extro...]

some serious talent here - and amusing

[Mackay]

Haha!

What I really loved was that the roommate(presumably) didn't even turn around through the whole thing. I mean... wouldn't he have been wondering what was going on? Or SOMETHING?! Hehehe. I think I need to watch it again, without obsessing over the guy in the background.

[Samadhi]

Geek points to anyone who recognizes the game he's playing (not many, it's not that hard).
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And he lived happily ever after. Except for the dieing at the end and the heartbreak in between.

[Neo]

Looks like Counterstrike, and if it is, he's hackin.

[zorT Kitty]

My cat likes humus! With crushed red pepper!

[Guest]

Libertarians are self-centered jerks who think the world revolves around them. LOL.

[Guest]

Boy, that sure was insightful and witty.

[Travis*]

[GH]

C-I-L-L. My land lord.

Shooting neighbors may not be an excellent longterm plan. Dig "speed bumps" across your yard instead. I can't think of anything funnier than some ass zinging across my front yard thinking, "The Man's not gonna keep me down, I'm not bothering anybody, lighten up," and then being launched 30 feet headfirst into a pine tree when the snowmobile stops against a bump and he learns the hard way about inertia.

[Antrax]

Jack_Ian's story was hilarious.
Also, Best thread to have ever been posted on the internet
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After years of disappointment with get rich quick schemes, I know I'm gonna get rich with this scheme. And quick!

[Duke Gnome]

I don't get it. What happens with Shadow Priests on PvP servers?

[GH]

They melt faces. Did you learn nothing?

[Courk]

I'm unclear as to whether or not that's a good thing.
Opponent's faces = w00t.
Your face = not so w00t.

[Antrax]

It's a shadow priest with pvp server. Whose face do you THINK will melt?
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After years of disappointment with get rich quick schemes, I know I'm gonna get rich with this scheme. And quick!

[Courk]

It's a Weezlewomp on a Doodad server. Whose face melts now?

[Travis*]

GH

[jesus_saves]

people who try to bait me on aim (this is an old roommate from about 4 yrs ago)

[worm]

you should've warned her, j_s!! and if you know how, can you tell me?

[Samadhi]

I'm sitting in my apartment wearing shorts, the windows are open and I'm watching people in NY wearing coats and being pelted by snow. I just find that amusing.
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And he lived happily ever after. Except for the dieing at the end and the heartbreak in between.

[Guest]

Check THIS out.

Best short movie I've ever seen.

[Naboo]

^
|
|
|
Me

[extro…]

I was watching my son (8) playing chess against the computer today, and he captured a pawn "en passant", a move I'd never actually seen in real play. So later we're at a birthday party and I'm telling my wife about the pawn move he made, and I notice I'm getting some strange looks from a few people in the room, and my sister steps over and asks quitely "are you talking about porn movies?". Fucking perverts.

[Sessie]

*just watched the film Naboo posted*

That was incredible, yo. I want that hotass DJ music.

What amused me...I had a customer today who insisted he had both cable internet and DSL. Actually, first he said he had DSL, but then he looked at me like I was nuts when I said something about it being through his phone line.

Sessie: "Okay, what wires are going into the back of your modem?"
--skip ten minutes of me explaining what his modem is--
Jackass Customer: "The coaxial and the DSL."
S: "...All right, if there's a coaxial cable in the back of your modem, you have cable internet, not DSL."
JC: *looks at me like I'm an idiot* "Uh, no...the cable goes into the modem, the DSL goes into the computer."

Oh. Silly me.

*sigh*
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"I have an everyday religion that works for me: love yourself first, and everything else falls into line." --Lucille Ball

[groza528]

This fortune cookie:
"You will be hungry again in one hour."