Blighty Mafia Day 6 - Game ended in an agreed draw

[Agamemnon]

Sir/Madam

Thank you for accepting the invitation to attend the "Old Blighty folk" annual dinner and dance function at the Alexandra Palace. We would also like to take this oppotunity to apologise for the bureaucratic problems we are experiencing and hope to resume normallity as soon as our political red tape has been severed.
Until then, please feel free to circulate and mingle with the other guests. Please also feel free to take full advantage of everything offered, it's paid for by the British tax payers anyway.

Many thanks

Rose Hamilton (Deputy Minister)

Day 1 attempted kill (Unsuccessful)
Pooky - Keith Moon - ?????

Day 1 lynched (By unanimous votes)
Samadhi - Reggie Kray - Mafia

Night 1 murdered (By Mafia night time assissination)
Soothsayer - H.G.Wells - Town

Day 2 lynched (By unanimous votes)
Dragon Phoenix - #@%&*£+? - $*%#&£!^:

Night 2 attempted kill (Unsuccessful)
mith - ????? - ?????

Day 3 resurrection (By special power)
Dragon Phoenix - ????? - ?????

Day 3 murdered (By invoked request)
The Cheshire Man - Ronnie Kray - Mafia

Day 3 lynched (By unanimous votes)
Dragon Phoenix - Dick Turpin - Mafia

Night 3 murdered (By Mafia night time assissination)
Leonidas - Oliver Reed - Townie

Night 3 murdered (By Mafia night time assissination)
Macros - Lord Nelson - Townie

Day 4 lynched (By unanimous votes)
amb - Wat Tyler - Mafia

Night 4 murdered (By Mafia night time assissination)
Cadmium - Sherlock Holmes - Townie

Night 4 murdered (By Mafia night time assissination)
Quailman - W.G.Grace - Townie

Day 5 NO LYNCH

Night 5 murdered (By Mafia night time assissination)
Mgm - Quentin Crisp - Townie
and
Pooky - Keith Moon - Mafia

[Agamemnon]

It was a vague invite that was sent out by the Ministry, but one which many accepted.
From across many timelines they came, some very famous, some almost unknown, but all British through and through.

The main hall was the principle meeting place. A grand open ballroom filled with grand furnatue and full of pomp. This was ideal for everyone to get to know each other, and also an ideal place for certain powers to meet openly.

Let the party begin.............

[H.G.Wells]

My god, this is an amazing party. Already I've met Lord Nelson, W.G.Grace, Wat Tyler and some idiot out of his head on booze. I could write a book on this encounter I'm sure!

Must remember to get a room with an en suite!

I wonder if anyone booked some pole dancers?

[Samadhi]

It's day? hmmm

How many players are there?

[H.G.Wells]

Squire mith
Archbishop Cheshire Man
Baron Amb
Sir Mgm
Viscount Dragon Phoenix
Duke Samadhi
Lord Macros
Earl Leonidas
Marquess Quailman
Baronet Pooky
Wing Commander Soothsayer
Rear Admiral sweetwater
Rt Hon Cadmium MP

[Samadhi]

Well, I need to vote for Q. That is too French. And the French are clearly evil.

Vote: Quailman

[Amb]

I havent recieved a role, due to "administrative errors". Presumably that means im town. But heck, even I dont know. Has anyone else recieved a role? Or is it just me. Maybe its just the mafia who havent recieved, and Ive just shot myself in the foot.

Or worse - could someone have recieved the wrong role. What is Aga doing to our heads dear chaps.

Vote Agamemnon

* wonders what roleclaim the mod will use *

[Samadhi]

Sounds good to me:
Vote: amb

[Agamemnon]

Amb

We are very sorry that you still have not received a role as yet, one should reach you from our office within 2 - 5 days. If you still have not received a role by 10 days time, can you please call our office between the times of 10am - 4pm (closed for lunch 12pm - 1pm) on 0800887766, selecting option 2 on first menu, then option 5 on second menu, option 1 on third menu then option 3 on fourth menu. If calls are engaged, please re-dial and use option 4 on third menu if option 2 is busy, or use option 6 on first menu then option 2 on following menu to leave a message.

Many thanks

Brian Flowers (Assistant Deputy Minister)

[Samadhi]

Righto, no gambit there. Back to the French one.
Unvote: amb
Vote: Quailman

[Amb]

OMGUS!

Im standing here saying I dont actually have a role, and you turn out and vote me for no reason - and later give the reason as you think its a mafia gambit?

Vote Samadhi for not even waiting to see if anyone else has the same problem...

I hope my missing role reads "Dear Amb, the first person you vote for (not counting the mod or random rocks on the ground) will be instantly lynched and if they have a role you like, you can take it"

But somehow I think I will be disappointed.

How many others out there are like me? Or is it just me....

[Amb]

[offchance]
And just in case I have to actually work something out here before I learn anything...

* dials 0800887766 *
* selects option 2, 5, 1, 3 *
"Hello - is that Brian Flowers?"
[/offchance]

[Samadhi]

No offense, mate. Just seemed like a gambit....have a pint?

[mith]

This lowly squire is honoured to be among such esteemed company. Cheers Rose for the invite.

[Mgm]

Greetings everyone. I'm terribly sorry for coming in late, but my limousine had a flat tire and my driver had no idea how to fix it. I fired him immediately, but I forgot I needed him to get here...

[Amb]

Unvote Samadhi
Vote Agamemnon

Back to the old vote. Lets lynch the mod, to see what happens. I cant think of anything more fun in a game like this one.

*mmm nice Pint. Thanks Sam*

[Pooky]

Greetings Ladies and Lords!

Please allow me the honor of introducing my self,

I am Keith Moon, yes the very one that you have been hearing so much of recently!

I am the light that shines upon the rainbow's end, the shadow that swoops upon the night's fall, the terror that keeps the younguns awake at night, the dreams and hopes that keep lovers in delight!

I am the beginning and the end, I am death's embrace and life's sweet kiss.

Sometimes I will be your Knight in Shining Armor Leading the way to victory, honor, joy and splendor!

Other times I will be the terror that stalks the shadows, the dread that never leaves your shoulders, what you shall fear when you close your eyes at night for you know that I am ever present and ready to end the pitiful days of ur pathetic lives.

I've seen the fall of Empires great and small, the lives of Kings rich and poor, the death of countless millions and billions for the happiness that they chase.

Tell me ol wise ones, tell me WHERE if anywhere have these dead led us?

Billions put upon this globe to chase a pathetic dream, the dream of joy and happiness, of the happy ending, of living happily ever after...

HAHAHA! Happily ever after? There is no such thing! All things must come to an end, death is but inevitable no? The life that you lead must end as doth those of every person you know, everything you've loved and bled for must eventually end.

That my friends is the end, the darkness, the void which you so dread, the abyss that you can not escape, time is the tunnel into that abyss which you must all eventually tread.

I am the gatekeeper of this abyss, I am the ferryman, the tollbooth, the road upon which you tread, the prison in which you will dwell, the shadow that hides behind every corner.

Can you defeat me?

Of course not! For I am the Death that none of you shall escape! I will come for you one by one and when all of humanity has fallen, there will be only I, and I shall be ever so lonely.

But's that's only on Mondays, what a dreadful day a Monday is, the rest of the time I'm usually the jolly man, the nice one, the happiness and hope that keeps your battered spirits up and alive past every pitfall that you've passed, every broken heart, every love affair ended, every friendship broken. How can you survive the deaths of those you loved? Your parents and grandparents and friends and lovers?

Surely it would not be just the old Whiskey keeping you alive? Or those dreadful drugs!

No it is not! It is I! The Happy one! The Joys and Hopes that keep you going through the darkness of the night! The Laughter and Gaiety that keeps you running.

I know this about every one of you, that you are all really wonderful people, that if you really thought out the idea of killing someone thoroughly that you would not actually do it, that any sins you might commit now are purely incidental and that you hope and pray for a kind God above who will guide you on a path that brings you joy!

You are all such wonderful people, I sure love you all.

Think about the happiness that you all chase, think about how close mankind has gotten to it in 6,000 years of thought and labor.

Billions working for empires and wars, lost on battlefields, farms, dying in horrible ways barely imaginable.

Has humanity acheived anything but found new and more innovative ways of killing each other? Has the world not gone so very mad that half of it dies from overeating while the other half dies from hunger?

Tell me what in this world is worth living for!

Tell me where you will find your happiness!

Is it in the money you shall earn? The materials you shall buy? The friendships that you'll find? The lovers that you'll meet? The games you shall play?

Tell me what in this tunnel of time before the everlasting Abyss is worth having, is worth the measily grains of time that you mortals have before the end.

Figure it out yet? Find the happiness you are chasing?

Remember when your great forefather took a bite of the tree of knowledge? Have you ever wondered if this was not some cosmic joke played upon the race of man by a great jester of terrible will? That he gave the fruit to the only race foolish and arrogant enough to believe that it could find the happiness that it could not even define? That he granted unto them ambition and desire unfulfillable so that their thinking minds could go mad with the thought of all they would leave undone before their deaths, that they would go to the grave remorseful and terrible?

Tell me what you see in the eyes of the dove in flight, the panting of a dog running after a ball, the shape of a dewdrop on leaves in the dawn.

Can you not see the joke that I've played?

It is a royal one no? All suffer quite the same, rich and poor alike, the terrible curse of thought.

I am the only one with all the answers, well myself and Mr. Robert Daltry of course.

But we certainly won't be providing any of them to you chaps, unless we were really drunk on that Irish whiskey you have their in the cupboard.

Feel free to try to lynch me, I am the terrible end that none of you will escape so you might as well try to kill me now.

I have some whiskey I need to be attending to now, there's a full length of string in the Master bedroom, I always liked to be lynched before the dawn came up, this way when you realize it's useless trying to kill me, I can get down and enjoy my sunrise with a nice glass of whiskey and one of those cigars you have in the cabinet.

Smoking only kills mortals.

[Dragon Phoenix]

I say I say I say...
Spiffing party, chaps!
I'm terribly sorry to bother you, but what's all this voting about?

[Cadmium]

How many different roles did Pooky just claim there ?
_________________
Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophobia - Fear of long words.

[Soothsayer]

I'm honoured to be at such a splendid bash. It's been absolutely yonks since I've been to such a lovely jolly but it really is quite a blast.

What leaves me a little flabbergasted is all this talk of a lynching. I remember a time when people respected each other and all this nonsense about murder was a just a load of old clap trap.

Nevertheless it seems that duty calls and life dictates that I must identify which ones of our merry party is the hoodlum.

Methinks it could be that Cadmium chappy - never could trust MPs myself. Bunch of old whigs if you ask me.

vote: Cadmium

[Mgm]

By the way, what's up with those hotdogs you are carrying, Commander?
During my time at Eton, the only hotdogs I ever came across were American, or German. Definitely not British.

Something's suspicious, indeed.

Vote:Soothsayer

[Pooky]

*Finishes his 3rd bottle of Whiskey*

What? Noone wants to dance with an old fart like me?

Come join me for a drink Sam, it'll be like old times.

You know I gots your back....

[Soothsayer]

mgm, just trying to be cordial with our friends across the pond. Personally I wouldn't touch the hotdogs myself as I have some lovely fish n' chips wrapped up in last nights evening standard if you fancy a nibble.

[Agamemnon]

Due to budget cut-backs and staff reduction, tonights dinner will be supplied by Harvester restaurants and not the publicised Savoy Grill.

The menu is as follows:

STARTERS

Prawn Cocktail
or
Tomato Soup

MAIN COURSE

8oz Rump Steak and Chips
or
Roast Chicken and Chips
or
Gammon Steak, egg and chips
or
Vegetarian Lasagne and chips

DESSERT

Black Forest Gateaux
or
Spotted Dick and Custard
or
Vanilla Ice Cream


We hope you enjoy your revised meal, and sorry for any inconvenience caused.

James Collins (Hospitality manager)

[Dragon Phoenix]

[Quailman]

[Mgm]

I'd like tomato soup as a starter, roast chicken with chips and Vanilla ice cream as deser. I never liked Black Forest Gateaux much. Too French.

I certainly hope the meals at this place will improve.

[Leonidas]

vote: Samadhi

A very rewarding vote, rightly deserved by Samadhi for a rare mix of anti-frenchness, over-eagerness to vote amb, and general scumitude.

[Amb]

Ill order one of everything ol' bean

And I have taken the god-given liberty of ordering pizza for Mgm

[Mgm]

I appreciate the gesture dear chap, but I'm afraid I cannot accept that Italian meal. It reminds me too much of those criminal families we've had around lately.

[Edwin Sandhurst]

Memo to all guests.

I'm afraid that due to unforseen circumstances, tonights dinner will be replaced by an alternative choice. This is because someone forgot to pay British Gas to re-connect the supply after it was disconnected for non-payment of bills.

Tonights dinner will now be from a choice of either Kentucky Fried Chicken, Spud-U-Like, or a selection of Vesta ready meals.

We are sorry for any inconvenience caused.

We would also remind guests that the sleeping arrangements are still in the pre-project meeting stage, and only a few of you have had your rooms made ready. The room allocation committee will meet again later tonight to sort the remaining guests into rooms. Until then, only Lord Nelson, Ronald Kray, Keith Moon and Lord Shawcross have been allocated. Everyone else will be informed as soon as possible.

The Ministry once again thanks you for your patience

Edwin Sandhurst (covering for the Minister)

[Pooky]

Sweet! I get a room!

*munches on KFC*

*takes another swig of Whiskey*

I'll be in my room, if you fellas need my help to string somebody up, don't hesitate to call for me.

[Mgm]

I guess hoping for better food is asking for too much...

[Agamemnon]

Votes so far:

Samadhi - 2 votes.....Quailman, Leonidas
Quailman - 1 vote......Samadhi
Soothsayer - 1 vote...Mgm
Cadmium - 1 vote.....Soothsayer

Due to clerical staff shortages, we do not know as yet how many votes are needed for lynching.

Some good news though.........the 18:22 fast train from Guildford to Waterloo was only running 15 minutes late.

Allied Carpets have announced that there will be no sales this month.

Aresnal have sold Viera to Juventus.

[Pooky]

Capital!

*Pours himself another Whiskey*

Let's have him strung up already, I don't want this to take too long.

Don't want to have to spend all night up talking about lynching, all that nastiness does no good for my wrinkle lines and what not.

vote Samadhi

[The Cheshire Man]

I will Vote: Pooky in the hopes that it will prevent further balderdash and gualimaufry on the scale we just witnessed.
_________________
smile

[Pooky]

Aren't you a cutesy pussy cat?

*pats Cheshire on the head*

Now be a darling and grab me another bottle of whiskey, I'm too lazy to get up out of this wonderful bed.

[Samadhi]

Q: Thanks for the correction, duly noted. Sorry for the misunderstanding. Can't be too careful when it comes to those blasted frogs, you know.
Unvote: quailman

Leo: Dear me, voting for me because I said something against the French? You're not actually going to tell me you like them are you?

[Leonidas]

[Samadhi]

(I know, I'm trying to play in character! )