Seeking funny quiz questions.

[Amb]

Hi there,

I'm writing questions for a local quiz evening fundraiser. I'm looking for some questions with funny answers, or ones that sound smutty but actually aren't. If you know any, this would be great. Jokey questions, or misleading questions would be great.

Questions examples I have seen in the past:

What kind of male, when ready to mate, lies on its back and kicks its feet in the air.
Kiwi Bird
(Generally gets a few funny responses, such as "me, my phone number is 555 1292")

Why might a violinist be embarrased to admit snapping one of her strings?
She would have a 25% chance of having snapped her G-String.

If a male was known for taking things way too literally, why would he not want to visit the capital of Thailand?
Because he doesnt want to bangkok.

etc

[Amb]

If anyone has some of those questions from the Dirty Minds game, they might be useful too.

[Quailman]

What's long and hard and full of seamen?

What's hard and hangs out of a man's pajamas in the morning?

If big dogs have little dogs and big cats have little cats, why don't big airplanes have little airplanes? Qantas always pulls out on time.

I heard those forty years ago.

[Amb]

[Quailman]

His head.

[MatthewV]

What word starts with F, ends with K, and has sirens?
firetruck

[Scurra]

[Suspence]

What does a dog do that a man steps into? PANTS
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Amb]

Now I really like that one.

What do you do on the piste?

[Suspence]

In what area of a womans body is her uvula?
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Death Mage]

There's always this classic.
_________________
* These senseless ramblings brought to you by Insanity™. If you just can't figure the dang thing out, it must be Insanity™.
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[3iff]

What's brown and sticky...a stick.

What's brown, steams and comes out of cowes? The isle of Wight ferry...

[Amb]

What is brown, has a tail, relatively worthless, and is ignored by most passersby? a penny

[LordKinbote]

Speaking as someone who used to go to pub quiz every week, few of these would make good quiz questions because they're ambiguously worded and have ambiguous answers. Some people would find it funny, others would just be frustrated.

Maybe the quiz could be "Things that Sound Dirty" and then you could give unambiguous straight trivia questions with answers that make you snicker.

"What lake is the highest commercially navigable lake in the world and the lake in South America with the largest volume?"

"Lake Titicaca."

[Jack_Ian]

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? [a carrot]
What's brown ans sounds like a bell? [dung]

[Amb]

The idea here is get a laugh. The night isn't taken that seriously.

[Amb]

What is the only one of RIchard Bransons products to not have the name 'Virgin' associated with it?
His range of condoms

In a survey for the Family Feud game-show, people were asked to name a game couples might play in bed. What was the most common but unexpected answer given?
Eye-Spy

According to a recent study, what do married men do 33% more commonly than single men?
Change their underwear daily

According to the same survey, what do 80% of women do in the bathroom, that only 40% of men do?
Wash their hands

What model of car gained notoriety for translating to 'Wanker' in Spanish?
Mitsubishi Pajero

"Woman Hitler” is a well known anagram of what family member?
“Mother In Law”

Who was the last British Prime Minister to not have a wife?
Margaret Thatcher

[Amb]

What is the meaning of life?
It is a Monty Python movie

[Scurra]

[Amb]

Yes, I know the technical inaccuracies of the question so -1 for that.

Came up with it myself, so +1 for that.

The thing I REALLY like about it, is that we give spot prizes for clever or brilliant answers. So that question can allow teams to have a shot at something very funny.

I am very very tempted to give it as the last question of the night.

[Amb]

If Scotsman Robbie Burns tried to burn a burn, what might he get?

Any of the following: Ridiculed, Wet, Steam, etc

[Zag]

I'm sure it's too late for this, but I saw it elsewhere and thought of this thread:

What does a man do on 2 legs,
a dog do on 3 legs,
and a woman do sitting down?

Answer: Shake hands, of course. What were YOU thinking?

[RubberDuck*]

I have asked three people "How are women like the clouds?"
and I have got 3 very different and interesting answers from each person

1.They're fun to look at and chase around, but once you get in one, you wonder why you bothered.

2.They gain weight and then cry on everyone.

3.You just wish they'd fuck off so it'd be a nice day.

[Amb]

What is a crapulous person full of?

Alcohol