Not Really A Puzzle

[3iff]

Jeffrey Archer is an ex-politician, jailbird and author...

Honestly!

[Suspence]

Unfortunately, convicted criminal ex-politician authors are probably not all that uncommon.
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Suspence]

To get the unsolved ones onto this page, and to add the newest list:

ELEMENTS
Dude, rude!
Quickly approaching Iliad warrior
Pearl Jam album
Vending novelist Forster
__________

COUNTRIES
Atlanta public transport, meet the Human Highlight Reel
Bill the gravitational constant
Cavern blemish
Charles Fleetford Sise
Continue to talk
Do-it-yourself heavy lifting machinery
Famous deulist panty
Good name for a backsplash store?
Internet swindled
Lavish "Oh, my"-sportscaster
Mangled cornices
Mesa running
Pondered about
Restrain Ponce de Leon
Self-mutilator
Sullen together
Went for a jog by myself
__________

SPORTS TEAMS
Angry pie plates
At the conclusions
Baked good vermin
Battle behinds
Beer is victorious
Belongs to a cartoon dog
Broad taxis
Cancel
Deface Nolan Ryan's
Demon deed
Devices to capture harlots
Draw with beiges
Escape ship beams
Exclaim "pyx carrier"
Exposes
Famous RCMH performers
Fascinated paddles
Filmmaker Burton pointy seeds
Give wages to gentlemen
Jail parasites
Knock on egos
K-system creator
Might yank St. Laurent
Monopolizes
Morgan Freeman's beast of burden
Nabisco cookies
Occupy blue jeans
Online seabirds
Personally made someone a Sir
Postage devourers
Secular mutts
Track jackets
Wed a physician's assistant
Were ladies
Woman tastes MDMA
Work clothes worn
__________

US STATES
Gadget-savvy sibling - Tech sis - TEXAS
Ogled a prostitute - Eyed a ho - IDAHO
Wimbledon ocean - Tennis sea - TENNESSEE
By what means? For what purpose? - How? Why? - HAWAII
Captain Albano, allow me to introduce you to the loose Ms. Karenina - Lou, easy Anna - LOUISIANA
Felon manners - Con ettiquette - CONNECTICUT
For what reason would you be in debt to a Chinese dynasty? - Why owe Ming? - WYOMING
If not that, a pistol - Or a gun - OREGON
Maidens drink urine - Misses sip pee - MISSISSIPPI
Since she might know the answer, ___ ___ ___ - I'll ask her - ALASKA
Small beverage - Mini soda - MINNESOTA
Principal - Main - MAINE
Surrounded by Counselor Troi - In Deanna - INDIANA
The toilet we own viewed - Our can saw - ARKANSAS
Ah, hey there Ms. Winfrey - Oh, hi O - OHIO
Chaste Rox Nava - Virgin Nia - VIRGINIA
Hedberg one more time - Mitch again - MICHIGAN
Superman ingested Tocopherol - Kent took E - KENTUCKY
Swap out Vardalos for Sara Ramirez - Callie for Nia - CALIFORNIA
Chief Ouray wonder - Ute awe - UTAH
Fires donkey - Cans ass - KANSAS
Weight *sneeze* hardens - Mass *achoo* sets - MASSACHUSETTS
Sick bother - Ill annoy - ILLINOIS
Computer company cognizant - Dell aware - DELAWARE
Street leased by me - Road I lend - RHODE ISLAND
Well ventilated disease also known as shingles - Airy zona - ARIZONA
Long for TomKat's kid - Miss Suri - MISSOURI
Whip atop Red Skull's daughter - Whisk on Sin - WISCONSIN
Apprehend Swiss watch
Clean up, then surf
Happyville
Piglet confident
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Jack_Ian]

[Suspence]

[ralphmerridew]

Captain Albano, allow me to introduce you to the loose Ms. Karenina - LOU, EASY ANNA
Principal - MAIN
Surrounded by Counselor Troi - IN DEANNA
Felon manners - CON ETIQUETTE
By what means? For what purpose? HOW? WHY?
If not that, a pistol - OR A GUN
Maidens drink urine - MISSES SIP PEE
Since she might know the answer, ___ ___ ___ - I'LL ASK HER
Small beverage - MINI SODA
The toilet we own viewed - OUR CAN SAW
For what reason would you be in debt to a Chinese dynasty? - WHY OWE MING?

[ralphmerridew]

Ah, hey there Ms. Winfrey - OH, HI O
Chaste Rox Nava - VIRGIN NIA
Hedberg one more time - MITCH, AGAIN
Superman ingested Tocopherol - KENT TOOK E
Swap out Vardalos for Sara Ramirez - CALLIE FOR NIA

[Jack_Ian]

Chief Ouray wonder - INDIAN AHH

[Suspence]

[Quailman]

UTE-AWE

[Quailman]

Fires donkey CANS-ASS
Sick bothers ILL-ANNOYS
Street leased by me MAIN
Weight *sneeze* hardens MASS-ACHOO-SETS

[Suspence]

[Jack_Ian]

Well ventilated disease also known as shingles - AIRY ZONA

[Quailman]

Computer company cognizant DELL AWARE
Street leased by me ROAD I LAND

[Suspence]

Nice work. Just a few states left. Lots of sports teams still out there, though.
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Quailman]

Long for TomKat's kid MISS SURI
Whip atop Red Skull's daughter WHISK ON SIN

[Suspence]

Repost for convenience to show just the unsolved:

ELEMENTS
Dude, rude! - Bro, mean! - BROMINE
Quickly approaching Iliad warrior
Pearl Jam album - Ten - TIN
Vendin' novelist Forster - Selling E. M. - SELENIUM
__________

COUNTRIES
Atlanta public transport, meet the Human Highlight Reel
Bill the gravitational constant
Cavern blemish
Charles Fleetford Sise
Continue to talk
Do-it-yourself heavy lifting machinery
Famous deulist panty
Good name for a backsplash store?
Internet swindled
Lavish "Oh, my"-sportscaster
Mangled cornices - Mauled eaves - MALDIVES
Mesa running - Butte on - BHUTAN
Pondered about
Restrain Ponce de Leon
Self-mutilator
Sullen together
Went for a jog by myself
__________

SPORTS TEAMS
Exposes - Bares - BEARS
Famous RCMH performers - Rockettes - ROCKETS
Fascinated paddles - Rapt oars - RAPTORS
Online seabirds - E-gulls - EAGLES
Personally made someone a Sir - You knighted - UNITED
Wed a physician's assistant - Marry nurse - MARINERS
Might yank St. Laurent - May pull Yves - MAPLE LEAFS
Baked good vermin - Pie rats - PIRATES
Postage devourers - Stamp eaters - STAMPEDERS
Draw with beiges - Tie tans - TITANS
Were ladies - Been gals - BENGALS
Knock on egos - Rap ids - RAPIDS
Secular mutts - Lay curs - LAKERS
Battle behinds - War rears - WARRIORS
Deface Nolan Ryan's - Mar Lynn's - MARLINS
Nabisco cookies - Oreos - ORIOLES
Angry pie plates
At the conclusions
Beer is victorious
Belongs to a cartoon dog
Broad taxis
Cancel
Demon deed
Devices to capture harlots
Escape ship beams
Exclaim "pyx carrier"
Filmmaker Burton pointy seeds
Give wages to gentlemen
Jail parasites
K-system creator
Monopolizes
Morgan Freeman's beast of burden
Occupy blue jeans
Track jackets
Woman tastes MDMA
Work clothes worn
__________

US STATES
Apprehend Swiss watch - Collar Rado - COLORADO
Clean up, then surf - Wash, hang ten - WASHINGTON
Happyville - Merryland - MARYLAND
Piglet confident - New ham sure - NEW HAMPSHIRE
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[ralphmerridew]

"Clean up and surf" could be "WASH 'N GO ..."

[Quailman]

I had considered WASH 'N GET ON
Apprehend Swiss watch COLLAR RADO
Happyville MERRY LAND

[Quailman]

Exposes - Bad News (or Chicago) BEARS
Famous RCMH performers - Houston ROCKETS
Fascinated paddles - Toronto RAPTORS
Morgan Freeman's beast of burden - Chicago BLACK SOX
Online seabirds - Philadelphia EAGLES
Personally made someone a Sir - Manchester UNITED
Wed a physician's assistant - Seattle MARINERS

[Jack_Ian]

Clean up and surf - WASH HANG TEN
Piglet confident - NEW HAM SURE

[Suspence]

That finishes off the states. For the sports teams, UNITED is correct, though it was meant to be DC, not Manchester.

BLACK SOX is not what was intended. Think Shawshank.
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Quailman]

I was about to guess New Hampshire, but that would just be for "Piglet" (without confident)

[Suspence]

I had no idea. Still, I like the idea of "piglet" converting to "new ham".
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Quailman]

Might yank St. Laurent Toronto MAY PULL YVES

[Quailman]

Baked good vermin - Pittsburgh PIE RATS
Postage devourers - Calgary STAMP EATERS

[Quailman]

Draw with beiges - Tennessee TIE TANS
Were ladies - Cincinnati BEEN GALS

[Quailman]

Knock on egos - Colorado RAPIDS
Secular mutts - Los Angeles LAY CURS

[Quailman]

Three this time...

Battle behinds - Golden State WAR REARS
Deface Nolan Ryan's - Florida MAR LYNN"S
Nabisco cookies - Baltimore OREOS

And..

Mesa running - Butte on? Bhutan

[Suspence]

Just to help Quail avoid the dreaded sextuple post...

Nice work, so far. Some of the elements have been around for 2 weeks. Someone should polish those off.
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[ralphmerridew]

Pearl Jam -> TEN (tin)
Iliad -> BEAR ILIUM? (beryllium)
vending -> SOWED E.M.? (Sodium)

[Suspence]

1 out of 3. Ten - TIN is correct.

Maybe vending should read vendin'.
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Quailman]

Sellin' E. M.

Mangled cornices MAULED EAVES

[ralphmerridew]

Dude, Rude -> BRO, MEAN
Forster -> SELLIN' E. M.

[Suspence]

Repost for convenience to show just the unsolved:

ELEMENTS
Quickly approaching Iliad warrior
__________

COUNTRIES
Famous deulist panty - Burr undie - BURUNDI
Atlanta public transport, meet the Human Highlight Reel - MARTA, 'Nique - MARTINIQUE
Lavish "Oh, my"-sportscaster - Lux Enberg - LUXEMBOURG
Do-it-yourself heavy lifting machinery - U-Crane - UKRAINE
Bill the gravitational constant
Cavern blemish
Charles Fleetford Sise
Continue to talk
Good name for a backsplash store?
Internet swindled
Pondered about
Restrain Ponce de Leon
Self-mutilator
Sullen together
Went for a jog by myself
__________

SPORTS TEAMS
Belongs to a cartoon dog - Astro's - ASTROS
Devices to capture harlots - HORNETS
Filmmaker Burton pointy seeds - Tim burs - TIMBERS
Give wages to gentlemen - Pay sirs - PACERS
Morgan Freeman's beast of burden - Red's ox - RED SOX
Occupy blue jeans - Fill Lee's - PHILLIES
Track jackets - Trail blazers - TRAILBLAZERS
Beer is victorious - Brew wins - BRUINS
Angry pie plates
At the conclusions
Broad taxis
Cancel
Demon deed
Escape ship beams
Exclaim "pyx carrier"
Jail parasites
K-system creator
Monopolizes
Woman tastes MDMA
Work clothes worn
_________________
I hate people who try to write interesting things in their signature.

[Quailman]

Morgan Freeman's beast of burden - Boston RED'S OX
Occupy blue jeans - Philadelphia FILL LEES
Track jackets - Portland TRAIL BLAZERS

[Quailman]

Belongs to a cartoon dog - Houston ASTRO'S
Filmmaker Burton pointy seeds - Portland TIM BURS

[Zag]

[quote="Suspence"]Repost for convenience to show just the unsolved:

COUNTRIES
Famous deulist panty: Burundi

SPORTS TEAMS
Give wages to gentlemen Pacers

[Quailman]

Lavish "Oh, my"-sportscaster LUXE ENBERG Luxembourg?
Do-it-yourself heavy lifting machinery YOU CRANE
Self-mutilator MYANMAR?
Atlanta public transport, meet the Human Highlight Reel - MARTA NIQUE
Devices to capture harlots - New Orleans WHORE NETS
Beer is victorious - Boston BREW WINS

[Scurra]

1:It never killed anyone (8) - AARDVARK
2:Passage to camp hill. (9) - ALLIGATOR
3:Willow (3) -
4:Carry. (4) - BEAR
5:Arrived and left (5) - CAMEL
6:Hat for folk-dancing. (12)
7:Jeffrey Archer. (7)
8:Sly shit. (5)
9:Noisy departure (5) - DINGO
10:… xote. (6) - DONKEY
11:Learner with supporter has time (8) - ELEPHANT
12:Burn at green (8)
13:Cheer the air force. (7)
14:Humorous deity. (6)
15:One is father, note (6)
16:Preserve Maharishi. (8) - KANGAROO
17:Rest atop. (4) - LION
18:One 'ell of a holy man. (5) - LLAMA
19:Chain (4)
20:Jeffrey Archer's girlfriend. (4-4)
21:Golfer. (7)
22:A windy evening (10) - NIGHTINGALE
23:Urine plus argon. (5) - PANDA
24:Average decay. (6) - PARROT
25:Urine and its conduit. (7) - PEACOCK
26:Lavatory humour. (6)
27:Pierce. (4)
28:Follow covertly. (5)
29:Ingest. (7) - SWALLOW
30:Fat at one end, thin at the other. (5) - TAPIR
31:Brick up a stinger (7) - WALLABY
_________________
_{still Quiz Olympiad champion. Must get a life.
New definitions: COFFEE - someone who is coughed upon}